I SHOULD BE SO AFRAID

I should be so so afraid on the realization that there are no accidents in my life. This is so in that all my life's harmonies as well as antagonisms that I encounter in my daily life, to which I christen successes and failures, are the direct responsive echoes of my thought. I should therefore be so much afraid, on the vital realization based on the fact that as I think, so I become. I should be so afraid of not being extremely careful of the thoughts I allow to take dominance in my mind at any given moment, for they are causal and will create the reality that will appear in my character and life.
I will love the good fear, in equal measure, which passes away with the ardent realization of the latent power in my possession, to control my thoughts that only the good thoughts will allow to reign supreme in my mind. 
Then I will have known how to conquer that fear in the knowledge that there is no accidents in my life.
I will have then, embraced the good Spirit that goes in the name 'Courage' in the knowledge that as the captain of my soul and the master of my destiny, I am solely endowed with the power to control the formation of my character as well as life.
Herein lies the deep- seated meaning of all the Beatitudes and the full implication that, "though am poor yet I am rich, though am weak, yet am strong, for I am blessed beyond measure, I am loving, harmonious and happy.
This fear brings with it the knowledge that no one is responsible for my thoughts except me.
Then, this 'Courage' will be the gauge of my knowledge and the measure of my attainment; for the depth of my knowledge is the strength of my courage and will be the measure of the success of my attainment.
This will have helped me as if to heed the call in the scripture contained in the classical passage of St. Augustine's confessions thus:

"Often does a man, when heavy sleepiness is on his limbs, defer to shake it off, and, though not approving, encourage it; even so was I sure it was better to surrender to thy love than to yield to my own lusts; yet though the former course convinced me, the latter pleased and held me back. There is nothing in me to answer thy call, ' Awake! Thou sleeper,' but only drawling, drowsy words, ' Presently, yes, presently; wait a little while. But ‘the  presently' had no present, and the ' little while' grew long, for I was afraid thou wouldst hear me too soon, and heal me at once of my disease of lust, which I wished to satiate rather than to see extinguished ." 

And so, will I have heeded His call to awake, "...O sleeper," and allure my mind from these drawling, drowsy words that caused St. Augustine to answer, "...presently, yes, presently; wait a little while."